


Selfish Decisions

by missmagic



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, He lives in you, Season 2 spoilers kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 12:51:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9441122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missmagic/pseuds/missmagic
Summary: When consciousness returned to Shiro, he expected to be in the his chair.  Right after Voltrons battle with Zarkon, ready to fight again if needed.  What he wasn't expecting however, was a gentle breeze to dance in his hair and caress any showing part of skin.  A sort of cool in the air that you feel in between the late days of autumn and early winter.  Cold but not in an unpleasant way.  He soon realized that the crushed feeling in his lungs was from lying down on his front and slowly pushed himself off the ground which also gave off a pleasant chill.  Dark eyes opened, still crouched down on his hands and knees, and he stared at his hands.~What happened to Shiro in the finale?~





	

**Author's Note:**

> When I watched the season 2 finale, I joked about how Shiro became one with the Lion. Then I saw other people on tumblr talking about it and was like, omg. What if.

The pain was instant, but it didn’t last.  It was surprising how gentle the numb was.  It grew in his head, trickled down his spine and spread throughout the rest of him.  A slow wave of...  nothing.  That was the only way that he could explain it.  Nothing and yet, it felt like everything.  It settled under his skin.  He felt nothing, well, he felt nothing that was his to feel.  He could feel the panic around him.  He felt the pain in the shouts of the other paladins.  He could feel the pure terror that enclosed him.  It wasn’t his.  In this instant, he felt no fear.  His eyes were heavy and wished for sleep but he felt no fatigue.  It was too difficult to stay awake.  His eyes almost rejoiced at their awaiting rest, but, it never came.  The terror that wasn’t his grew, louder.  It was no longer just a feeling.  It was now a presence buzzing at the back of his head and it had found a voice.  It yowled.  A horrible and depressing yowl which called to him.  _Stay with_ _me._ _Don’t leave me._ He would stay.  He wanted to stay, but sleep called.   

Suddenly, there was a pull.  It was frantic and full of desperation.  The presence circled him.  Held him close to it and pulled.  It wouldn’t let him leave.  As his eyes closed, he saw the purple screens around him power down.  As his thoughts dimmed and his resolve to stay awake left him, his mind was filled with the impression of black. 

 

*** 

 

When consciousness returned to Shiro, he expected to be in the his chair.  Right after Voltrons battle with Zarkon, ready to fight again if needed.  What he wasn't expecting however, was a gentle breeze to dance in his hair and caress any showing part of skin.  A sort of cool in the air that you feel in between the late days of autumn and early winter.  Cold but not in an unpleasant way.  He soon realized that the crushed feeling in his lungs was from lying down on his front and slowly pushed himself off the ground which also gave off a pleasant chill.  Dark eyes opened, still crouched down on his hands and knees, and he stared at his hands.   

When he looked, he thought that he was looking up to the night skin until his hand twitched, creating a ripple on the ground as if he was over water.  He wondered if it was so shallow that it was barely deeper than half of his finger or if he was actually standing over a black ocean. 

Lazily leaned back until his butt sat on his feet and placed his hands on his knees.  Watching the small ripples, created from his movements, spread out away from him.  It dawned on him where he was and remembered the last time he was here.  This was where he and Zarkon met through the bond whilst he was bonding with Black.   

Confusion clouded his mind as he didn't understand why he was here.  His last memories he struggled to make sense of.  The sudden need to close his eyes and float away.  Now, he understood the presence that called and pulled at him.  He recognised the feeling of Black in his head and that the terror was hers.  What she was so scared about, he didn't know.   

A sudden gust of wind from behind startled him.  He closed his eyes and lurched forward at the force of it.  Then, there was a sound.  It sounded like purring.  Shiro raised to his feet as he turned around to face an infinite blackness before him.  He couldn't count how long it was before the purring got louder and he started to see ripples come towards him, footsteps.  Gold started to shin through as the Black Lions frame came into focus.  Out from the void and into the light of the full eclipse in the sky above.  Her eyes never seemed to leave him until she stood in front.  The strain he had to feel in his neck as he looked up at her.  How long did they stand there.  How long until the Lioness sat on her haunches, her eyes still locked with his.  "Why am I here?"  She said nothing. 

The purple glow that surrounded her started to brighten until it started to break apart.  Shiro couldn't help but think of when his elder sister took him out one morning into the forest, a clearing full of all different kinds of wild flowers or all different colours greeted them.  He remembers her walking into the clearing only to startle the butterflies there.  The glow reminded him of how the butterflies fluttered from their flower and gently flew into the wind until he couldn't see them anymore.  The memory was dropped however when Black's body went with it.  She faded and he was shocked.  What was happening.  The Black Paladin watched as his Lion faded from her head to her paws.  Though, the bits of floating glow that came from her danced its way to her feet and came back together, forming something.   

Slowly, the glow as well faded and once again, there was only void in the horizon, between the black ocean and the night sky that was reflected in it.  Then the ripples returned and something walked out. 

Shock sat in his gut when he saw a black Lioness walking towards him.  An actual Lioness from Earth.  An African Lion.  The only difference was the unnatural gold of her eyes and the constellations that reflected of her black coat.  As she got closer, he added her height to the list.  The Lioness was as big as a horse at the shoulders, her ears reaching his nose and that was with her head held casually low and not up high.  She did not stop when she was in front of him.  She continued walking until her chest touched his and her muzzle cuddled under his chin.  A purr resonated from her throat.  _My Paladin._  

Her whiskers tickled his neck and a small smile grew on his lips as his hands came up to her neck, petting the soft fur.  Black only purred louder and leaned more into Shiro.  In the bond, she'd always been affectionate to him but her giving him actual physical affection was something to get use to.  However, she didn't answer his question from earlier.  "Black, why am I here?" He didn't enter the mindscape himself, so the only explanation was that she'd brought him here.  She stopped her nuzzling and the purr in her chest silenced.  He was starting to think that she'd never answer him. 

_I was protecting you._   That only gave him more questions.  Before he could speak however, she bet him too it.  _Voltron won._ _Zarkon_ _was defeated._ She was one step a head of him, as if she knew what he was going to ask next.  _Zarkon_ _is not dead, but... he_ _is...indisposed of_ _for now._  

"If we won, then why did you bring me here?"  Once again, she was quiet.  Her head moved from his chin, she pressed her forehead to his chest, her ears flicked towards him as if she was listening to his heart. 

_You were hurt._   He remembers the pain from when Zarkon grabbed Voltrons head.  _You were dying.  I couldn't let that be._   He was still.  Not knowing how to react or what to say.  They were both quiet.  Black didn't move a muscle.  _I don't know what he did.  But he did something and it was killing you._   _I couldn't let that happen._   Black pressed harder into his chest.  The steady beat of his heart comforted her.  She wouldn't lie and say that it wasn't a selfish decision.  She had already lost too much.  Her home.  Her previous paladin to the darkness within him and to his greed for power.  She couldn’t let go of Shiro.  He was hers.  She wouldn't lose him too.   

"How...?" 

_I took your quintessence.  As important as a physical body is.  It is your quintessence that makes you, you.  It is all you are.  So why would I risk saving your body when I can easily save you._ She made it sound so simple.  If only it was.  Too bad there's a price for prioritising the quintessence over the body.  Shiro quickly thought of something and kicked himself for not thinking earlier. 

"Wait, the others." 

_They're in good health._   Black tried not to think of the other paladins.  Thanks to her bonds to her sisters, she could feel them.  She could feel their grief.  She'd be lying if she said saving Shiro wasn't a selfish decision.   

She remembers watching him die.  Feeling her bond with him weaken and his conscious slip from hers. 

She didn't like remembering it.  She was a leader.  Supposed to be in control at all time.  Yet, at that moment, she was a screaming cub.  Too selfish to let nature take its course.  No.  She couldn't let him go.  He was hers. 

Shiro was quiet.  He could sense the tension that was swarming inside of Black but he couldn't make any of it out and he knew that she wouldn't say what was eating her, at least, not right now.  To be honest, he wanted to leave the mindscape and see how the other paladins were doing, see if they were alright.  Maybe even celebrate their victory.  The thought of doing so quickly disappeared from his mind when Black roared at him. 

  
_YOU CANNOT LEAVE._ He couldn't help taking a step back from her outburst.  _...I don’t know what_ _that'll do..._ The Black Paladin didn't understand.  Why would leaving be any different from the previous times that he'd done so.  _You might..._ She didn't, couldn't continue that sentence. 

"I might what?" 

_...Quintessence can't_ _ex_ _ist_ _without a host, or body...  Raw quintessence is something that can_ _only be made, it's not natural._  

"But... I have a body."  Her eyes lowered.  Back at the battlefield.  Before she took his quintessence.  She was worried and didn't know what to do.  Yes, it was easier to save him through his quintessence but, his body...  It is a cycle.  Without the body, there can not be quintessence.  Without quintessence, the body will not survive.  That was her worry.  With her, his quintessence would forever be safe in the mindscape, living alongside hers.  Almost as if they were sharing a body.  His body however.  She remembers watching it turn grey and dull as she preserved his quintessence.  Watching as it crumbled and turned to dust until even his atoms were gone.  Leaving behind nothing but an empty chair.  Without quintessence, the body will not survive.   

A part of her did want to save the body, so that he could return to the others but...  She waited from them to come and save him.  Take him to the pods and let him be healed but...  They were too slow.  They wouldn't make it.  If she hadn't done it, then Shiro would have died before he reached the pods.   

The tables had turned.  As if he could read her thoughts, he slowly started to understand her silence.  If he left the mindscape, without a body, there was a high chance that he'd fade out of existence. 

 

*** 

 

It had been a while.  Hours.  Days, within the mindscape.  Still, Shiro sat on the Black Ocean, leaning on Black who was curled around him with her head on his lap.  Dark eyes stared up at the sky.  Ink black with a eternal eclipse high above.  A soft purple glow coming from it.  Millions of stars shined brightly, some close, some very far away.  Clouds of black and purples and pinks.  He watched as the sky met the horizon, a black void which flowed into the black ocean.  The same gorgeous sky reflected in it.  It was relaxing but after a while.  It just became another sight to see.  It couldn't dull the need to see his friends. 

Black knew.  She knew that he'd like to leave and see the others.  She wished he could, to let the others know that he was safe with her.  Obviously she could have her sisters tell their paladins that but, would they believe the Lions?  Her sisters were also grieving but not in the way the others did.  Sometimes she would feel their confusion at her but they never judged.  They had no right to judge because they all knew that they'd do the exact same thing.  Blue had attempted to with her previous paladin but sadly, she was too late and the quintessence had faded before she could. 

Both Human and Lion didn't think about it.  Instead, they watched the horizon and listened to each other breathing.

**Author's Note:**

> I might write more of this, either from Shiros pov or from the other paladins, don't know.  
> Please remember to comment and share your thoughts on this with me, I'd love to know. xx


End file.
